Embracing Every Emotion: Understanding 'Negative' Feelings as a Vital Part of Healing
Trendy spiritual accounts make a profit out of shaming you for feeling “negative” emotions and selling you surface level quick fixes like “just think positive” but we don’t do that over here. This type of business model is not one that I subscribe to, or support.
What exists are flawed perceptions, reactions to both seen and unseen triggers, and responses to the complex challenges of life. Don’t ever gaslight yourself into thinking you’re “low vibrational” for feeling sad, angry, depressed, or even apathetic. These emotions are natural responses to trauma, stress, disconnection, and loneliness, and they deserve to be felt fully.
While it’s true that our thoughts and feelings can contribute to shaping our realities, denying our very normal human responses is not only unhelpful—it’s unrealistic. Healing isn’t about turning off our emotions, feel less, or to only feel what’s considered positive. It’s unrealistic—and frankly, a bit silly—to believe we can or should experience joy and love every single moment of our lives.
Feeling all of our emotions is necessary. Emotions are chemical reactions, and not feeling them; can create lasting effects that have the power to impact our daily lives when left unaddressed.
“Higher levels of lingering negative affect are associated with greater numbers of chronic conditions and worse functional limitations 10 years later. Findings suggest that affective recovery from daily stressors has unique importance for long-term physical health.” Read the full article here.
Some spiritualists might refer to you as “low vibrational” but the truth is, you are beautifully human; not low vibrational. Be cautious of anyone who tells you otherwise.
There’s a popular saying: “Your trauma is not your fault, but healing is your responsibility.” It's a powerful statement, yet what often goes unmentioned is that many of us never learned healthy coping mechanisms, self-accountability, or how to embrace self-love and compassion.
Yes, it is your responsibility to heal, BUT even before we do that, we need to grant ourselves a little, often a lot of warranted compassion, not shame.
We need support, a sense of community, and access to resources—elements that are often scarce, especially in the early stages and even more for minorities. I know firsthand.
I’m wary of any practitioner or professional helper who directly or indirectly instills shame in those who don't respond to the world in a way they deem "acceptable." Emotions like grief, anger, and fear might be uncomfortable, but they’re necessary—they help us appreciate the joy, gratitude, love, and happiness we encounter.
A lot of us have been conditioned to be happy in a manner that disconnects us from our authentic selves. This only contributes those same “negative emotions” we so desperately try to escape.
If you find yourself shaming or gaslighting yourself for having feelings, interrupt your inner critic and respectfully, or disrespectfully, tell him/her to shut the fuck up.
Holding your own hand through these moments, remember: feeling is healing.
Though it hardly ever seems like it in the moment, trust me, the grief, anger, sadness, or rage you feel is not just a burden—it's a vital ingredient to experiencing deep love and joy too. I invite you to join me in shamelessly embracing every part of our emotional journey.
If you're seeking support in navigating through waves of emotions and releasing them, I'm here to help. Feel free to schedule a session with me at your convenience here, whenever you feel ready.
This journey is in fact yours, but you don't have to walk it alone.
Sources:
Leger, K. A., Charles, S. T., & Almeida, D. M. (2018). Let It Go: Lingering Negative Affect in Response to Daily Stressors Is Associated With Physical Health Years Later. Psychological science, 29(8), 1283–1290. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797618763097
